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I will finally be a student again. After a semester off I got registered up at the U yesterday. Nice. So I will be working full-time and will be a full-time student. I have never done the double full-time thing and am kind of nervous, but pretty excited about my classes for the most part. I am taking a fiction workshop, 19th century American literature history class, history of photography, and analysis of argument. Should be rockin.

I will be glad to be back in school again because being a twenty-five year old single Mormon guy is a pretty bland period of life. I find myself just wishing that I had something lighthearted to talk about. A funny experience or idea. Something. Some color in my life. But as it is now, pretty much all I do is sit at my desk at work, which is entirely gray. A lot of the girls I meet are either married or fresh out of high school making it a workout just being in the same room as them. I’m sure they’re nice, but I’m just out of the period of life where I could stand a car full of girls cranking Fergie, bouncing in their seats and screeching the lyrics while I get whipped in the eyes by hair and asked why I am not doing the same.

If I do meet a nice girl I would like to take out, and would like go out with me, I don’t do it because I feel guilty about it, because I have so much stuff I need to deal with first that if something good did end up happening I would feel bad for her because she had no idea what she signed up for (kind of like you do now if you made it this far in this post). This (yes, the third ‘this’ in six words and the second set of paranthesis in one. I’m okay with it) is where “they” or “you” or “whoever” says, “Well then, go take care of it.” And then I say, “Yeah, but. . .” But what? But it’s going to suck, that’s what, and I am tired. I need to try though, so I can stop writing posts like this one and move on to more interesting subjects.

How about I do a Top 5 Tunes on Tunes? That could be fun. Okay, done. Plus, it will get me listening to something a little more upbeat.

To Resist Despair in This World is What it is to Be Free

Today-what can I say? Today sucked. It sucked long, and it sucked hard. I am in the middle of being frustrated mentally, physically, spiritually; I'm frustrated at work, home, not at school because I wasn't able to go this semester, and that is frustrating.

I spent way too much time today not at work applying at the U again even though I was already accepted once and even though it was their fault (in my eyes at least, I can see their point. I will give them that) that I wasn't able to register and had to pay the late fee again, and will again be registering late. I think it would be understandable to be frustrated at my day.

Frustrated, though, may be an understatement. If only I was frustrated; a normal person would be frustrated, but I think it is safe to say that I am completely pissed off in all those above mentioned areas. I won't go too much into my angry character flaw; I just wanted to give you an idea of why I couldn't calm down today and wanted to start tearing cubicles from the walls in a vulgar rampage. Reason for painting this very negative, but honest, image of myself would be so that the calm present version of Jeremy has a little more meaning.

Today sucked until about five o'clock when I realized that the re-release of Operation Ivy's Energy (including tracks from the EP's Hectic and Turn it Around, and released as Operation Ivy) that was supposed to be in June, then in October, then to what I thought was next week was actually today. Now, the day didn't improve dramatically until I had it in my hands, because I was still a little skeptical that I had received the correct information, but alas, it was there on the new releases shelf, and the day improved dramatically once Knowledge started playing on my truck stereo. It was already a horrible week even though I was halfway through Tuesday and this was a very welcome surprise. Honestly, things are fine now. I am totally fine. My heart rate is back to normal, and even though I just finished work at 9:30, I feel like dancing instead of violently self-destructing. I love music. Yes, I do. I love it because it gives back to me. Twelve bucks very well spent.

Try to describe to the limit of my ability:
It's there for a second
Then it's given up what it used to be.
Contained in music somehow more than just sound,
This inspiration coming and twisting things around
Because you always know that it's gonna have to go
You always know that you'll be back in the cold.
Point of departure sublimated in a song
It's always coming to give me that hope for just a second
then it's gone, but!

To resist despair, that second makes you see. . .
To resist despair, because you can't change everything. . .
To resist despair in this world is what it is, what it is to be free.

Sound system gonna bring me back up
One thing that I can depend on.