Amusement Park

...And when you're really down and out
And you feel like there's no way out
Let go of your tears.
-Angel's Wings, Social Distortion

Dylan only wants to die sometimes.

There are times when he is happy, but he is able to draw so much happiness out of this life that he is bound to find the dark places too.

Dylan has discovered that this world we all live in is a world of opposites. Meaning, the happier he is able to make himself, the higher he is able to go, the bigger drop he has waiting or him.

I dare say that everyone understands the roller coasters of life. We know that passion works both ways, but what we don't understand, and what Dylan gets, is that passion should not be turned off. We know that when highs come to an end they can be dangerous, and when we reach that peak we shut down our passion and we fight gravity. We try to slow down and stay as high as possible.

Dylan doesn't.

What we forget is the lower you go, the more energy you have behind you to help you go higher than before. And so he doesn't fight his descent; he free falls. He descends so spectacularly that any recovery seems out of the question. He speeds toward that darkness, and when he gets there he loses himself as he continues toward the hard rock below.

His thoughts turn to despair, and still he doesn't attempt to pull up. He lets himself feel overwhelmed. What Dylan has learned is that the faster he reaches rock bottom, the sooner he can begin his long ascension, so he puts just as much passion into his sadness as he does his happiness.

At times he feels that death is an option. He says to himself, "Do I want to die?" When he continues to discover that the answer is, " No, I don't," he puts all his energy, all his passion, into being alive, and life is better than it ever was before because he knows he is exactly where he wants to be.

For Dylan, wanting to die sometimes is just part of life, and life should be embraced, not ignored. Feeling failure, fear, and despair just means he is trying.

After all, a level roller coaster would be boring as hell.