A Memorial to Beef

Yes, it is what's for dinner, but it was also the name of my truck from 1999-2002. The name was similar to Little John. "Ah, they call me Little John. But don't let my name fool ya; in real life I'm VERY big." So, he wasn't beefy. He just thought it was. And he thought he had a lot to prove.

It was a 1986 Chevy S-10. I had been driving my sister's car and I came home one night and there it was. The dull black paint was far from glistening in the twilight. It was beautiful. We were instant pals.

Everyone liked Beef becuase of his great confidence, and how he took no guff from anyone. No matter how large the task, Beef was always up to it. What he lacked in power and speed was more than made up for in imagination and creativity. He had a one of kind canny to think outside the box. For example, unable to pass Andersen's Ram Charger, Beef knew there was no way to pass it on the road (because the blasted thing was the same width as the road); Beef popped up onto the sidewalk and was able to pass the Ram Charger. However, he didn't always think ahead. He soon found himself coming up on an intersection with nowhere to go. Beef squeeled to the right and down a grassy hill, inbetween the trees, and jumped off the curb into a church parking lot where the on lookers were quite confused.

Rumors of Beef began to be whispered among the people. And soon tales of him began to spread far and wide. He ran wheeling machines into the ground. He proved the doubters wrong time and time again, until it seemed that nothing was impossible for him. Beef was not a ride; he was an experience. An experience not for the faint of heart, but those who dared enter the extended cab were treated to the most comfortable seats ever (Seriously. Maybe because they were really old and worn) and access to a cooler that was never lacking ice cold Mt. Dew.

As do all things Beef grew old and passed on, donating his parts to other Chevys. He is, however, far from dead and gone. His legend will live on forever. And his memory will forever grace those who knew him.

I write this memorial becuase I realize I never properly mourned for my good friend. So long, Beef ol pal, you were one crazy SOB. I can't believe I am still alive.