YAKS

Someone put a flyer by 'Youth Against the Kingdom of Satan' on our fridge at work the day we were having our Halloween party (I'm not sure it was for real). The headline was 'You wouldn't leave your kids with this babysitter would you???' Then there is a picture of Satan. 'Than why support Halloween?' It then talks about how Halloween is bad bla bla and gives reasons that we should dispose of Halloween. Here are a couple of my favorites:

-Sexual Activity increases 73% on Halloween.Who conducted that poll and who was polled?(Members of YAKS) Wow! We better get rid of St. Valentines day right quick. Not to mention prom.

-Halloween increases the following- anxiety, doorbell ringing, pumkin mutilations, (Not smashing. Come on. Now you're forcing it) deappreciation of the ten commandments.-Halloween decreases the following- self esteem, school attendance, (Aaah!) smiles, healthy teethal tissue, appreciation for the ten commandments. (You already mentioned the commandment thing. We get it.)

-Appropiate footwear is worn by very few at-risk trick-or-treaters.Dude...eh...uh...

-The following are known to have trick-or-treated: Adolf Hitler, Glen Danzig, Ted Bundy, Ozzy Osborne, Scott Bayo, and Connnie Chung.I wonder how many other Austrian youth were trick-or-treating along with Hitler. What's up with Scott Bayo and Connie Chung?

-The following are known to not have trick-or-treated: Abraham Lincoln, St. Nick, Kenny Loggins, Barbara Walters, and Moses......It then gives a time line starting with Hell giving birth to Satan in 2050 B.C. Then he celebrates his 544th birthday on October 31st. Apparantly we don't know what he did on that date on the other 543 years prior. And did you know that the Roman Empire fell because of Halloween fanaticism?

Don't get me wrong; I'm not a Satan lover. It's stupid people I'm not a fan of.